I worry too much

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There's no denying that I've been stressed out more and more recently. For example, at a close friend's engagement party last week, I felt my face pulse, and felt short of breath. Although it wasn't a panic attack, there was no denying that my body was in control of that situation.

But where do all of these worries, anxieties, doubts, fears, and nausea truly come from? Like any emotion, these worrisome fears come from the body. The body, not the brain.

What one must understand is that our brains are not separate from our bodies, and our bodies are not separate from the environment is travels through. Consider this: why is it we must eat food? It's not because we are simply satisfying the mental urge to eat; it's because the nutrients of that food must be metabolized by the myriad of amazing cellular processes in every living organism. And it is this machine which will ensure that the molecules and atoms from the environment make their way into your being.

What does this have to do with worrying? Well, what one must understand is that it is simply a mental construct resulting from the amazing cognitive processes in you, as the chemical processes in your neurological system form an amazing set of emergent gates which you know as your consciousness. Our conscious being is not something we fully understand (yet), but it is much more mechanical and predictable than one would imagine.

Worry comes from an uneasiness between environmental models in the brain, and the perceived world outside. Worry, like any emotion, is exacerbated by our body's state. If we are low on blood sugar, or tired, or have cramps, our brain will make different sorts of decision-processes.

So, don't worry. When analyzing any given situation, do not think about the bad or worst outcomes, and do not think about what your "gut" is telling you. Instead, take a few breaths, step back, and give your problem a good rational look. Ask yourself:
  •  What is the problem, exactly?
  • Is it within my power to solve this problem?
  • How much time will it take to solve this problem?
Whatever you do, don't become caught in the sea of despair: no matter how bad a situation seems to you, it is always slightly better off, objectively.

Export

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I'm exporting the blog in preparation for a big move. There were a number of reasons I had used moveable type, but now, I feel like this site could move on. I have drafted up a visual re-design, along with getting the new structure together.

Some other problems I've had with this structure:
  • weird url patterns
  • Image uploading tended to be a pain
This project has been a few months in the making, and will take a lot of my free time to properly implement. Expect to see something completely different in the next couple of weeks.

Until then, feel free to browse around. For starters, I'd recommend looking at my entry on computational tools in university.

Also, my sister has been kicking it with some new pictures. Hop over and say hello.

Strep Throat and Other Woes.

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It's 1:30 in the morning, the time in itself becoming quite a load to bear. But I've been writing.
A lot.

I don't know why I haven't been keeping up with my content-creation (ie "blogging"), but this trip seems like one that's as good as any to kick back and put a few posts on the old biolyrics.

Unfortunately, this post probably won't be as long as I would have liked, but I am going to be adding more entries as the weeks pass. To be honest, I have been racking them up on an auto-post, but it's only to keep my readers entertained and my time freer.

Also, pictures. They used to be a huge part of the old site, and now they've all but faded away. So, from now on, more media in the upcoming posts. As a teaser, feel free to enjoy this drawing of a brain:
Brain
Enjoy.
Also: Happy Birthday, Leach. Try not to go too nuts for your 21st.
After reading about the new Bill C-15 in Canadian Parliment on reddit I decided to write a letter to Bill Siksay, my local MP. I knew his stance on such bills, one that I agreed with, so I just wrote him a reiteration of what this particular member in his riding thought.

What I wrote him:

Dear Honourable Bill Siksay,

I am writing to you to express strong disagreement to Bill C-15, introduced by The Hon. Robert Douglas Nicholson.

This bill introduces mandatory minimum sentencing, a concept proven to not work as shown by overcrowding in United States prisons. Canadians know the drug war has failed, and 62% support the legalization of marijuana. Please take this into consideration when this bill is put to vote.

I am deeply concerned about the impact that such a law would bring to Canada's justice system and feel that any legislative action to this affect would turn otherwise stalwart citizens into imprisoned criminals.


Here's what he wrote back:
bill.png

In the many posts on Biolyrics I've made over the years and the many political stances I've made on U.S. and world politics, it occurs to me that I've never spoken about my own past. The events in the Gaza Strip and some people I met today have motivated me to share a bit about myself and to propose my own ideas about the issues surrounding the Middle East.
Of the many great experiences I had in Syria, some of my favourites were at family gatherings and parties. Of course, the sort of reunions that happen in the "Old Country" are far more lively than the usual Christmas get-togethers that North Americans participate in. For one thing, because I was the only one from my household in Utah to visit family in Syria, I was constantly taken from relative to relative, meeting people aged from less than a month to 80+ years. Family in Syria means not just one's aunts and uncles, but also their children's relatives. It means that I not only met people distantly related to me by 2nd or 3rd generational gaps, but also be met every friend, distant relative, and acquaintance of everyone else's friends, relatives, and acquaintances. I probably met 100+ different people from a wide array of backgrounds and professions: from business to dentistry. The family dynamic in Syria is broad, to say the least.

Being Poor

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I just read an amazing little poem by John Scalzi. Made me think of lots of the things that people take for granted. Even in a place like Vancouver it can be difficult to live in. And it doesn't help that Vancouver has the poorest postal code in Canada.
Somehow, though, there's still hope; humans are smarter and stronger today than most people give us credit for.

Bio - Lyrics: "Lately" -- The Helio Sequence

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"Lately"
The Helio Sequence

Lately,
I don't think of you at all.
Or wonder what you're up to,
Or how you're your getting on.
I never think of calling you,
Or how things could've been.
Or wonder where you sleep at night,
Or whose arms you wake in.
 
I'm living alone, living alone.
I don't need you anymore.
Living alone, living alone.
I don't need you anymore.
 
Lately,
I don't get lost in daydreams.
I never lay awake at night,
Staring in my bed.
And I don't think about your face,
Or anything you say.
And I don't think twice,
When someone says your name.
Or twist my mind in circles,
Wondering which of us to blame.
 
I'm living alone, living alone.
I don't need you anymore.
Living alone, living alone.
I don't need you anymore.
 
I never walk alone,
And think of all the empty words.
Or wonder when the day will break,
Or when the tides will turn.
And I don't break down,
When someone says your name.
Or twist my mind in circles,
Wondering which of us to blame.
 
I'm living alone, living alone.
I don't need you anymore.
Living alone, living alone.
I don't need you anymore.
 
Lately,
I don't think of you at all.
Lately,
Lately,
Oh lately.

I know that this is a bit mushy, but I just realized that it's November 19th. Those who know me personally know exactly what I was doing last year.
For those who don't: let's just say that today sparked a chain of events that resulted with me being at SFU, and I'm damn happy to be here.

Bringing the lyrics back.

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I'm going to start posting lyrics that are in keeping with my current life's playlist. This will probably be a twice a week feature, we'll see how it goes.
I'll still be making normal posts to this site, so stay tuned!

"Two Ghosts"
Boy Eats Drum Machine


woke up in time to see you turn into a ghost
from the top of the world
theres a view of sun so clean you can only look once
I see you carried away by the wind now
no matter what we say the things we claim dry out and blow away

its over my love
now were just a piece of the scenery in a painting signed anonymous
over my love
over just out of reach in retrospect I guess I loved you too much
loved you too much
loved you loved you when all I really needed was someone to touch
someone to touch
someone someone coarse enough to resist any powerful force

I hear a sound I think maybe youre here somewhere now
sometimes you hear sometimes you see but youre only imagining
if theres a season theres got to be a reason for it
you make your peace you make your mistakes
sometimes the world gives sometimes it takes

More to come.

The Story So Far

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Ok, well, it's been some time since I've posted, which gives some indication as to how busy I've been, so let's use this post to update everyone on what I've been up to.
Firstly, SFU (Simon Fraser University):
my_room.png
This school has been amazing. Between the Cognitive Science Program and the excellent residents in its dorm community I've had a more rewarding experience in the last two months than my entire time at the university of Utah. Professors listen to students, there are numerous opportunities to expand and learn, and being on the hill is an island in a sea of urban Canada.
Another excellent thing to note about SFU's location is that I'm less than two minutes (walking) from Burnaby Mountain Park, A magical place with an excellent view of both the city and the Pacific Ocean.

Check out the view:
the_view.png
It's even better at night.
Now that I've posted a mini-update, I'll feel better about making updates later.
Cheers.


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